The House

The House

Saturday, December 31, 2011

What I read this year.

I have been a bookworm all my life. Bookworm being the old fashioned word for what is now termed a pathology, bibliophile?, loner? I have only recently downloaded my first e-book onto a cheap pad. It's Bleak House for free. I used to have a complete set of Dickens from about 1880. It yellowed and fell to pieces. Couldn't hold the books at all. I collect antique books, nothing fancy just what I like. Bulwers Works, Ben Hur, almost all of Dauphne du Maurier. I would be one of those folks with
shelves cutting through the middle of the living room if I could get away with it, piles of books like towers everywhere. Now I suppose I could collect books on hard drives, but that lacks the aesthetic appeal; or the smell. The new soy inks don't have that lovely off gassing smell of chemical inks. I remember the day I learned how to read, like lightening striking, like learning to breath under water. It was a fantastic, trippy experience as some part of my six year old brain exploded into
awareness. When I would laugh at jokes about Dick and Jane, I would feel a little guilty sadness because they had done so much for me. I won prizes in second grade for reading the most books, could read college level by the age of 12. Granted I can read and comprehend well, but that doesn't translate into writing skills as my high school teachers hated teaching diagramming so any syntax or grammar I have is by accident. I don't know anyone who reads like I do. My daughters have to read
because they are in school but they don't rush home to read like I did, high in the magnolia tree like a strange monkey. I have never caught them reading with a flashlight lost in a world of knights and poetry. They don't lie in bed all Saturday morning finishing up the last of a book that they saved for a morning thrill. None of my husbands read all that much, a magazine, Internet. My second husband was a lawyer so he had to read and he did like Hunter S. Thompson, but other than that.

So for the New Year I wanted to list all the books I read in 2011. I can't make a reading list for 2012 as I don't know where my mind will take me. But I can tell you where I have been. Did you know you can get a list of all the books you have borrowed going back at least five years from your local library?

1.The 2012 story: the myths, fallacies, and truth behind the most intriguing date in history   John Jenkins
2. 2012: the return of Quetzalcoatl           Daniel Pinchbeck
3. Bill Moyers journal: the conversation continues         Bill Moyers
4. Clarence Darrow: attorney for the damned          John A. Farrell
5. The Philosophy Book             Will Buckingham
6. Pitchforks and Torches            Keith Olberman
7. Reinventing Collapse: the Soviet example and American Prospects       Dmitry Orlov
8. The Return of Depression Economics and the crisis of 2008        Paul Krugman
9. A Secret Gift: how one man's kindness--and a trove of letters--revealed the hidden history of the Great Depression    Ted Gup
10. Shirley              Charlotte Bronte
11. Small Plot, high yield gardening: grow like a pro, save money, and eat well..     Sal Gilbertie
12. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall            Anne Bronte
13. The Truth about Grief: the myth of its five stages and the new science of loss     Ruth Konigsberg
14. Unhinged: the trouble with psychiatry--a doctor's revelations about a profession in crisis    Daniel Cariat
15. Unscientific America: how scientific illiteracy threatens our future      Chris Mooney
16. Crazy like us: the globalization of the American Psyche        Ethan Watters
17. Cro-Magnon: how the Ice Age gave birth to the first modern humans       Brian Fagan
18. The empathic civilisation: the race to global consciousness in a world in crisis     Jeremy Rifkin
19. Empire of Illusion: the end of literacy and the triumph of spectacle      Chris Hedges
20. Fractal time: the secret of 2012 and a new world age        Gregg Braden
21. Girls on the Edge: the four factors driving the new crisis for girls      Leonard Sax
22. The God Delusion             Richard Dawkins
23. The great warming: climate change and the rise and fall of civilizations      Brian Fagan
24. The green collar economy: how one solution can fix our two biggest problems      Van Jones
25. Griftopia: bubble machines, vampire squids and the long con that is breaking America
  Matt Taibbi
26. The hidden brain: how our unconscious minds elect presidents, control markets, wage wars, and save lives  Shankar Vedantam
27. House of Cards: a tale of hubris and wretched excess on Wall STreet       William Cohan
28. Jane Eyre              Charlotte Bronte
29. Loneliness: human nature and the need for social connection        John Cacioppo
30. The lost symbol: a novel            Dan Brown
31. Medium Raw: a bloody valentine to the world of food and the people who cook
      Anthony Bourdain
32. The other Brain: from dementia to schizophrenia, how new discoveries about the brain are revolutionizing medicine    Douglas Fields
33. Passing Strange: a Gilded Age tale of love and deception across the color line
   Martha Sandweiss

I also bought and read a set of four Ogden Nash, all of Dianna Gabaldons clansmen series, the last of Jean Auels cave bear series, finished Your Brain on Music and The Myst Reader. I read the Nation every week. In this small town this is little else to do.
These aren't exactly in the order I read them and I didn't like all of them, but reading is the most important activity to me and the Internet would not be successful written. Just when you think all the stories have been told, every issue dissected there are still ways to tell it and analyze it. I wish I could be a book reviewer. I think this year I will do that in my blog, just to share my joy of reading. I have started out to write books on several occasions. One was going to be about a girl who could fly and then days later at the movies The Boy Who Could fly came out. Then I started to write a book about all the books that impacted me as a child then I read in the Nation mag. someone has written I Read Books as A child.  Damn! I  wrote a poem a day for a year once and am still searching for the topic that I can add to that giant mandala called literature.
Happy New Year.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Occupythecourts and Corporation Separation Movement

Here is the proposed resolution for seperation of corporations and State that was passed in Boulder, CO. The idea being that more towns and cities pass the same resolution.

Legalize Democracy and Abolish Corporate Personhood

Whereas, government of, by, and for the people has long been a cherished American value, and We The People’s fundamental and inalienable right to self-govern, and thereby secure rights to life, liberty, property, and the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in the US Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, and;

Whereas, free and fair elections are essential to democracy and effective self-governance, and;

Whereas, persons are rightfully recognized as human beings whose essential needs include clean air, clean water, safe and secure food, and;

Whereas, corporations are entirely human-made legal fictions created by express permission of We The People and our government, and;

Whereas, corporations can exist in perpetuity, can exist simultaneously in many nations at once, need only profit for survival, and exist solely through the legal charter imposed by the government of We The People, and;

Whereas, in addition to these advantages, the great wealth of large corporations allows them to wield coercive force of law to overpower human beings and communities, thus denying We The People’s exercise of our Constitutional rights, and;

Whereas, corporations are not mentioned in the Constitution, and The People have never granted constitutional rights to corporations, nor have We decreed that corporations have authority that exceeds the authority of We The People of the United States, and;

Whereas, interpretation of the US Constitution by unelected Supreme Court justices to include corporations in the term ‘persons’ has long denied We The Peoples’ exercise of self-governance by endowing corporations with Constitutional protections intended for We The People, and;

Whereas, the illegitimate judicial bestowal of civil and political rights upon corporations usurps basic human and Constitutional rights guaranteed to human persons, and also empowers corporations to sue municipal and state governments for adopting laws that violate ‘corporate rights’ even when those laws serve to protect and defend the rights of human persons and communities, and;

Whereas, corporations are not and have never been human beings, and therefore are
rightfully subservient to human beings and governments as our legal creations, and;

Whereas, large corporations’ profits and survival are often in direct conflict with the essential needs and rights of human beings, and;

Whereas, large corporations have used their so-called ‘rights’ to overturn democratically enacted laws passed at municipal, state and federal levels, aimed at curbing corporate abuse, thereby rendering local governments ineffective in protecting their citizens against corporate harms to the environment, to health, to workers, to independent business, to local and regional economies, and;

Whereas, the recent Citizens United v. the Federal Election Commission Supreme Court decision that rolled back the legal limits on corporate spending in the electoral process creates an unequal playing field and allows unlimited corporate spending to influence elections, candidate selection, policy decisions and sway votes, and forces elected officials to divert their attention from The Peoples’ business, or even vote against the interest of their human constituents, in order to ensure competitive campaign funds for their own re-election, and;

Whereas, large corporations own most of America’s mass media and use that media as a megaphone to express loudly their political agenda and to convince Americans that their primary role is that of consumers, rather than sovereign citizens with rights and responsibilities within our democracy, and this forces citizens to toil to discern the truth behind headlines and election campaigning, and;

Whereas, tens of thousands of people and municipalities across the nation are joining with the Campaign to Legalize Democracy in the United States to call for an Amendment to the US Constitution to Abolish Corporate Personhood;

Therefore be it resolved that the State of (City of, County of, etc.) ___________ hereby calls on our (legislators, elected officials, mayor, commissioners, etc.) ___________ to join the tens of thousands of citizens, grassroots organizations and local governments across the county in the Campaign to Legalize Democracy in the US and to call for an Amendment to the Constitution to Abolish Corporate Personhood and return our democracy, our elections, our communities back to America’s human persons and to thus reclaim our sovereign right to self-governance.

Be it further resolved that the State of (City of, County of, etc.) ___________ calls on other communities and jurisdictions to join with us in this action by passing similar Resolutions.

Be it further resolved that the State of (City of, County of, etc.) ___________ supports
education to increase public awareness of the threats to our democracy posed by Corporate Personhood, and encourages lively discussion to build understanding and consensus to take appropriate community and municipal actions to democratically respond to these threats.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

In homage to a Tunisian fruit vendor, an American Sgt. and.....Occupy Not Destroy

I posted this on the local Occupy Canon City and have/will take this to our local party headquarters, taped it to our city hall and county buildings. and anywhere else I can think of. This will be my own little protest for the third month anniversary on Saturday.
Protests are a right of the citizen claimed by our founding fathers and reiterated in the constitution and numerous court rulings throughout this countries brief history. The Occupy movement in this country is a reflection and echo of the protests throughout Europe and the Middle East, but have a long history from the 16th century protestant reformation to more recent protests by corporate backed Tea Party and the success of Occupy to change the conversation from narrow corporate interests to the larger needs of people.
A very cogent and reliable source of the history of protest can be found at

The big question is; What are they protesting about? If you listen to Fox news and much of the main stream media they ask this question and then do not seek or care to listen to an answer. I can boil it down to a few points:

1. Give Peace A Chance

2. Greed is not Good

3. We are all in this together

4. The planet is being poisoned.

These are a simplification but create an easy starting point as well as giving all of us a way to encapsulate the point of the protests.

It has also been said of the Occupy that it is not organized. This is not true at all. In less than three months the movement has gone from 56 individuals in Zucotti/ Liberty Park in New York who were feeling discouraged by the lack of interest in their protest movement against the gambling hall that Wall Street represents. The first protesters were inspired and supported by Adbusters and a group called Anonymous who coined the phrase OCCUPY. The model of non-hierarchal groups, the hand signals, the break out groups from the larger General Assembly are modeled on the Spanish protests. The movements peaceful approach comes from Ghandi and Martin Luther King among many other peaceful leaders for human rights. For a more detailed history of the beginnings and inspiration of the the U.S. movement go to also search “history of Occupy” on for an archive.

The intelligence, creativity and skill sets of the organizations around the world (a verifiable 900 occupy of some sort in the U.S. and over 2400 world wide) running the gamut from young and old, of all political and ideological stripes is not the product of unwashed masses, lazy or “hippies”. Lazy does not organize protests world wide that we witnessed on November 17th.

Our two party system has been a partner in crime in the anarchy created by corporations and the lie that is free market enterprise. Corporations are killing capitalism by subverting democracy. Independent parties are to narrow in scope and have focused on smaller more myopic views on the “right” and “left”. The cry for the movement to embrace or become involved “like the Tea Party” in electoral politics would be a waste of time in a system so bought and paid for and corrupt. The system must be exorcised of the money interests. 400 Billionaires, 1300 multi-national so called American corporations, an approximate 700,000 millionaires (exclusive of the wealthy who are in support of the movement; 1% for Occupy) 12 mega banks we bailed out and a global ponzi scheme that is killing people and destroying the planet.. A pox on both parties houses for giving into the lowest common denominator among us. Greed is the last of the seven deadly sins and the wannabe rich are as bad as those who are old money. The concept of noblesse oblige, noble obligation of those who are in power to those who aren’t has been lost.

The movement has not failed by any means. it has empowered the powerless. The most disenfranchised among us have rattled the chains that bind all of us. The loud and bold cry of the “emperor has no clothes“ while pointing at the money machine, the militarization of our civil society is awakening the American soul. The movement has brought loud, musical artistic attention to the inequality that has been perpetrated upon us intentionally. Julain Assange of Wikkileaks said"; we are ants to them" (the elite). There are some who like the idea of killing ants just for the joy of killing them like the ilk that do nothing but judge, spit and defame their fellow citizens while wrapping themselves in the American flag, waving t religion in our faces. If you live in a utopia in your own little universe and you think the movement is trying to free load off your hard work and not bathe or think, that is the wrong target. 400 billionaires and 1300 multinationals think the same thing of you! The truth is the 1% have done more to extract from the 99%, in a form of free loading unprecedented in history.

I think the hopefulness of the movement, despite the natural tendency of humans to create social pecking orders (which btw the elite have used against us ) is a marvel of organization, skill set, creativity and courage . The hardest being, to face the brain washing of you and me against each other and the acceptance of the elite position of superiority over all of us. It is Occupy Not Destroy. The model for equality is here it has been co-opted by the power elite, they kill us with our love of country. The model is called democracy and we are trying to save it not destroy it. No one was listening to the homeless, the disenfranchised, the mental ill, the aged, the unemployed, the ripped off service workers, the fire man the police the teachers, the kids. No one is listening to the gasp of a dying planet. We write, we petition, call, we argue, we vote till we are blue in the face. We try to be polite, understand the opposite view, compromise. try to not cringe at words like un-American, hippie, socialist, dirty, lazy. Lazy doesn’t start movements, un- American doesn't work harder than hell to raise up someone else who is worse off. Stupid doesn’t' see the intelligence in the eyes of someone of a different gender, race, age, religion or politics. The few things that have been damaged by protesters have not been permanent and cost all of 100 bucks to fix all across the country, if that, and the movement has stepped in to cover the cost and clean it, and call to task those who would destroy. Occupy not destroy. Take our country back. Democracy and the Constitution are mine just as much as anyone else’s. Soldiers sent off to resource wars are told they protect America and the constitution, so does occupy from those who are anarchists who hate government by the people. The powers that be don’t want us to compare notes much less join forces. The lobbyist, political foundations, elite rich, bankers , financiers and monopolies want it all for themselves. We have given them every chance in the world to show that ideology and free market could bring prosperity to all. They have failed and they don’t want to recognize this.

I will be addressing local issues that apply to Canon City, Fremont county and the region per se. Talk is cheap and I hope that eventually we can as a community address the issues that plague us decade after decade. To that end I encourage anyone with an interest in dialogue write in response at 

Monday, December 12, 2011

Old age means failure

Perhaps its just menopause, but even though I have not gone through it yet, a month shy of 54, I feel something changing profoundly in my mind. Writing a blog ( which sounds like slogging through cosmic mud) is somewhat like writing to some odd god. I used to write in journals everyday, reams of streams of conscience. I once sat down and typed all my hand written ravings from age 18 to 28. After reading them from the exalted age of 30 I was rather surprised to find that I had wisdom at 18 I had lost by 28. It's amusing actually because of the phrase, let the teen run everything before she forgets she knows everything.
 My second husband called me a dilettante. Granted I had a lot of interests but my inability to focus was not because I had a flighty mind, it was because I took time out to love and support another who did not support back. I loved theatre and dance, it was my life. He did not support it as his life and work were more important and I "had" to be his biggest fan to the exclusion of my  dreams. As the Occupy movement grows from the beatings that are improving morale, I feel left out. My timing sucks. I feel left behind even though I have never lead so much as an ant band. Each issue that bubbles up and is organized around from Banker Usury, hydrocarbon addiction and its pushers, the necrosis called our political system, and the poisoning of our nest. I have done very little to help in anyway. There are days when all I feel I have done is eat, shit and make the planet die a little quicker just by existing. And then...I realize I am one of the few in my social sphere (which is the circumference of a dime) that has worked at paying attention. Granted not all the time, due to life dragging me around by the tender parts, but none the less...I felt it my duty to pay attention, attend, be aware, try to be conscience, grow intellectually as much as my poor little rattled brain could muster. Being the benevolent witness is the only comfortable rationalization I can fall back on. People have to work at being ignorant these days and it really pisses me off.
All the voting, poll taking, survey responding, petition signing, protesting, donating, supporting, arguing, bumper stickers, t-shirts and the three month garage sale I ran to help stop Black Fox was not sexy but it was all I could do. I am a failure. I always thought I would do more, inspire more. I still feel as if I should be doing more, be more, that I am missing my opportunity?  What is left for me at 54? Not using my talents, whatever they are.
I chose to have three daughters. I have had a girl to take care of since I was 21. My youngest is now 14  a  week before I am 54. I will be 58 when she graduates from high school. My eldest is 33 in February and in my mind the memory of her childhood is fading like colors in the sun. It seems so long ago. The choice was made through a series of errors actually as has most of my life. Hell all of my life is a series of errors. Wrong college, wrong loves, wrong towns. My mind keeps going to those moments "if". Not so much regretting as wishing I had....not gone to college at Northeastern in Tahlequah, hadn't had my eldest till later, hadn't moved to Norman, Oklahoma, had stayed with dance.
"If your Father hadn't died" was one of my mother's mantras when any trouble in my choices presented themselves. It became the cop-out for all my poor choices and her lack of help with those choices. I suppose it will be  considered a good thing that none of my mothers children are criminals, but neither are we achievers per se. A life of near misses, brick bats and a deck stacked against me since I was born in D.C. All of my energy has gone toward recovering from prejudice, obstruction, sexism, classicism and ostracism and abuse from one quarter or the other. Powerful people began in my teen years to make it tough all along. I have been blamed as a victim of the powerful for not attaining the carrot of success they dangled as they led me to the cliff of failure. I complained once some 20 years ago to a friend I felt a failure, and he felt I was the most successful person he knew because of my willingness to keep fighting for what I knew was right. To keep finding my way back to the muses that called me.
I don't hear them anymore. I don't have poetry, choreography or plays sprouting into my mind. I am only keenly aware of the absence. 
In the first few minutes after I wake I have a mini life of Walter Mitty. I imagined for instance this morning that I could start an Internet radio show, ranting and reading whatever strikes my fancy. I would go by the name "queen of Sheba" for reasons I will relate some other time. It won't happen. The other day it was going to go off ala Ansel Adams to photograph the wilderness before it is gone. I used to fantasize I would get the Pulitzer for poetry in my 90's. Got to be good at poetry for that to happen. I am not good at anything. I am crafty not artsy. I realize that the people I admire had amazing luck. They knew the right folks, their talent was recognized and fostered at a key moment. I think there is nothing worse than being innately gifted and useless. So smart and not being able to meet ones potential. It is a hell that drives you made without the complete oblivion. I used to think love would be enough, it isn't. That if I just was a little more patient, kept working on my creativity that I would find that satisfaction that comes with finally feeling in the right place at the right time. Not all out of sync, day late and dollar short, in limbo, muddling along, filling up space.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fair of Face

I am Irish
Fair of Face
with a lilting tongue
I cry easily
anger easily
laugh easily
Love a good fight

I am German
Fair of face
with a dramatic heart
I sing easily
Create easily
I love the forest
am to proud for my own good
Have no fear of death

I am French
Fair of face
With the grace of her Queens
I love easily
Hate easily
Learn easily
I love good food
Am a sensual being
An ethereal being
Innocent mystic

I am Iroquois
Fair of face
with a body of soul of power
I survive easily
Conquer easily
see life easily
I commune with god/goddess
have beautiful babies
heal the sick,
am at peace

I am jewish
fair of face
lament all humanity
I pray easily
give wisdom easily
martyr easily
love the children
preserve the past
adore logic

deep in culture
citizen of humanness
more besides

copyright 1984

Friday, December 2, 2011

Another little ditty from Ogden Nash

Published in 1935 in the compilation of his verse; I am A Stranger Here Myself.

Behold the politician.
Self-preservation is his ambition.
He thrives in the D. of C.
Where he was sent by you and me.

Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's anointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.

He has developed a sixth sense
About living at the public expense,
Because in private competition
He would encounter malnutrition.

He has many profitable hobbies
Not the least of which is lobbies.
He would not sell his grandmother for a quarter
If he suspected the presence of a reporter.

He gains votes ever and anew
By taking money from everybody and giving it to a
While explaining that every penny
Was extracted from the few to be given to the many.

Some politicians are Republicans, some Democratic,
And their feud is dramatic,
But except for the name
They are identically the same

When a politician talks the foolishest,
And obstructs everything the mulishest,
And bellows the loudest,
why his constituents are the proudest.

Wherever decent intelligent people get together
They talk about politicians as about bad weather,
But they are always too decent to go into politics them-
   selves and too intelligent eve to go to the polls,
So I hope thekind of politicians they get will have
   no mercy on their pocketbooks or souls.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Occupy and the birth of a movement

Today is the two month mark of Occupy Wall Street in Liberty Square. The rest of the country soon followed. I am unable to get an official tally of the permanent camps across the country, but at least 850 in the U.S. and over 2100 worldwide.

I have been watching almost every day since the beginning on live streams, blogs, AlterNet, the nation, Current TV among many other sources. It has been tireing for me, but exhausting for the Occupy facilitators. This movement has grown in direct relation to the commitment put into it. Who of the original 56 knew it would grow so large? Who among them was prepared for success? I don't believe a one of them expected anything quite like this. They empowered themselves and each other in the hopes of getting a few others to recognize the terrible state of the country, the world and our planet.

The individual empowerment they embraced as they held each other in that space in Liberty Park and the extended presence across the country has become a conduit of pent up anger and love.

It could have burnt them up, exploded or simply vented and died after the first push back from the local govt. They fell in love and like any love affair it raged with all the passion and beauty and mystery that love is.  Gaining trust, learning each other, showing up, welcoming the creation of change.

As I have watched from afar, a virtual fly on the wall. I see a concentrated discipline of non-hierarchy, inclusion and a mantra of peace. This mantra has truly expressed itself in action. Not peace signs, not logos real peace in action.

The lack of violence on part of protesters borders on miracle, but is a testament to the intelligence and heart of the people of this country. Real consciousness is being born one long general assembly birth contraction at a time.

I do not think those who committed to and midwifed this movement  comprehend what has happened yet. They are busy doing it, in the middle of it, catching this baby as it comes out.

Like any new baby of the collective soul it needs full attention. They are not in the space to think about how this baby will grow and change.
On Wednesday night, 36 hours after the raid on Zucotti/liberty I watched as an action committee tried to have a gathering. It broke down in an argument, nerves were raw. I saw very tired folks. The ebb and flow, the tides of love are starting to roll. The grief from losing the space as it was, the clearing by force that happened hurt them a great deal. The ones who helped create the space were in grief. The loss of the carefully gathered books lovingly catalogued was the most devastating. The loss of tents, medical and media equipment. The nursery was destroyed. At first I think they thought perhaps the baby might be dead. That baby had already started running. The parents weren't ready to leave the nursery but that baby has taken to the streets.
I say "leave" because even the police and Bloomberg had a part in making this baby strong. The slap on the butt by the city is part of the assertiveness of life. The opposition to the will to life is the shadow that creates the light of awareness.
The clearing of the parks in New York, Oakland, Portland, and Denver was the mess of birth from the womb of liberty now gives birth to Occupy fully gestated in two months.
I have watched now as the parents rush to keep up. Do any of these midwives of change realize the historic never to be forgotten energy they unleashed?
Not yet. Older activists relate some of their experiences but like knowing grandma and pa's they smile and feel a pride not felt in decades.
I marvel at the lack of violence in Occupy. Less crime than the general population per capita. Perhaps it was all the eyes watching out for each other. Very little if any of the things the elite and right wing feared would happen.
The way the communities have dealt with serious societal issues, racism, sexism, religious clashes, and political clashes is a testament to their heart, intelligence and love of country on a scale that should put the elite to shame.
The Occupy hasn't created a new model, the model has been there. We have everything they need right inside each of us, they had all they needed.
I have been involved in therapy groups, theatre productions. The groups that came together for as long as 14 days or 4 to 6 weeks were committed to either healing, ego growth, drama, art and creative process very hard work.
Invariably there are clashes, dust ups, differences in direction, but the focus of the process is the beacon. The people of Occupy were able to do what they have done because the model was always here. All the way back to the first tribe. We are social animals that instinct was being suppressed by one tribe over the other. The tribe of humanity is rising up. We are not inferior as we have been told; "the great unwashed masses", the "mob", "hippies", liberals. Commies. And all the divisive language of the master over the slave. 
Did they create the GA process from classes, from mental health groups? Did the hand signals come from Ameslan? Native culture? Little of everything from the collective soul, one voice, and one heart the evolution of humanity.
They have fed us fear of being outsiders, fear of being ostracized, of being different, and fear of loss to create a consumer society. Our leaders are murdered beaten out things taken but we thrive on deprivation, they make the slave stronger with every beating.
Just things, just our bodies but they can't control or destroy conscience/consciousness. The seeds that have sprouted from reason and enlightenment.
We Tak We Asne    (apoligies to my Native friends for the phonetics)
We are all related.
Keeps whispering in my ear. As reality unfolds on my little laptop.
All evolution/rEvolution is a birth, death rebirth, midwives and care takers.

The illusion of control by the elite is fracturing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Even a child can understand when things aren't right.

When I was 16 I wrote a letter to the local CBS station. Clayton Vaughn was the reporter in Tulsa and every Friday night he would read a letter from the community or do his own editorial. In  the days preceding my letter the city of Tulsa had been discussing reviving downtown. I was very angered by this. I grew up near downtown in a lovely home, surrounded by others like it. The city had been implementing “urban renewal” which in the 60’s and 70’s became a code phrase (the first of many such codes for taking over our lives and ripping us off I would come to learn) for tear it down, kick out whomever and make money by building something no one wants. Downtown Tulsa had the largest art deco architecture in the country. It was the oil capital because of all the companies that were located there. During the boom days the buildings built by these rich oil barons rivaled New York in beauty and craftsmanship. It also had a viable and growing black business district which came to be known as the black Wall Street. During the 70’s there was an almost delicious desire to tear down all of the old buildings and put up big new buildings. I watched as business was driven out and the Williams Center run by the Williams brothers, our own Koch brothers of Tulsa. They took over block after block of art deco buildings and tore them down. I remember hearing many complaints about their heavy handedness in the city.  They focused their attention it seemed on political rivals and almost entirely destroyed the Black Wall Street. Archer and Greenwood barely survived due to a cry from the black community. They managed to designate the region historic. As did the Maple Ridge neighborhood. I was in Jr. Achievement in 9th grade and our group did a good job and as a reward got to have lunch with the Pres. Of First National Bank of Tulsa. The sky line of Tulsa is recognizable to the world because of this art deco building and its brightly lit green pyramid pinnacle. I asked the Pres. If they would tear down the bank and the Pres. responded “over my dead body!”.  The art deco architecture was chronicled by a woman who saw what was happening and photographed and published a book. We owned one of these photo coffee table books. Tulsa now has a heritage and preservation organization because of what was happening when I was a teen.

 The City also loved highways. They planned to run a large overhead highway down riverside along the Arkansas which was ultimately killed. When other cities like El Paso were turning their riversides into green parks Tulsa’s was left to go wild with pot growing, dead gar and pollution from upstream sewage and refinery run off. This too was pushed back and eventually the Riverside Park was born thanks to community effort. I went to Tulsa Central High. Central was the first high school in the city. It was a hundred years old when I graduated in 1976.\; the last class to do so. The school was shut down over much protest. This was after the city destroyed an entire neighborhood of middle class homes. There used to many famous folks who graduated from Central, Loretta Young, Jack Lemmon and many of leaders of the town. It was naturally integrated due to its location. It was a wonderful building and school. I still have dreams about it. They put in a mile and half bit of highway through the old neighborhood. I walked to school through an area that looked like a war zone of abandoned  homes snatched by the city to give some good old boy a sweet heart contract. They created a hangman’s noose of highway around downtown, destroyed buildings, closed schools, business left the area for the burbs and NOW they wanted to rejuvenate downtown. Clayton Vaughn read my letter.

I learned at 16 about corruption in politics. I thought erroneously that it was only hick town Tulsa with its small mindedness. I was very excited about voting at 18. I was a member of the first generation to get to do so at that age.  Went to college the fall of 76 in theatre so to say the least I can be as dramatic as they come. I got into terrible fights regarding Reagan. My mother said if you want to know how a person would be as Pres. see how they were as Gov.’s . Reagan was a John Bircher, a bigot. He didn’t start out with his free market views he was paid to acquire his views. He was an actor that is all. He went with the character that was required of him. 

We who knew then what this man had wrought in California would be brought to the national stage as it were. I couldn’t understand then and still don’t ,why people like my mother thought God talked to Reagan.

I have been writing letters, signing petitions, pissing people off all around me for decades now. I helped stop Black Fox by running a summer long garage sale till my marriage fell apart. (not related). I have joined till I am blue in the face, Sierra club was a coffee klatch. All the independent parties only care about single issues. The dems are Blue dog, scratch the surface find red underneath. You know how I feel about the Repubs. I am no doubt on some black list among the elite, or at least a one page dossier with the FBI. Haven’t had them come to the door yet, so probably not, just my ego there.

What I resent at the age of 54 is the way I am viewed as an old white woman. Given the characterization of the media of old women it is assumed I am a conservative tea bag lady who hasn’t any education or voted any way other than what my church or husband tells me. I am not a conservative nor am I church goer. I resent the idea that my 54 year old ass had anything to do with the state of corporate take-over. That the minute I learned anything I did caused harm I have changed my ways, after all I am subject to the same brain washing all my life as the rest of you. There is nothing worse than finding out that things you believed in are not true. It hurts like hell, but reality is far more desirable.  The truth will set you free has new meaning these days of media propaganda that makes the former USSR and Nazi Germany look progressive. Free your mind with the truth. Don’t make assumptions about anyone whether they are with you or against you. You don’t know. Ask first.

As I was writing this late last night, the fascist corporate state raided OWS in the middle of the night. Thieves of democracy think they are stopping Occupy and the 99%. I am so angered and feel helpless in the face of repeated injustice here and worldwide. Corporations are killing democracy and our planet. This feudalist corporate empire will collapse on its own weight. We must recognize this and hunker down, prepare to help each other. I suggest an Occupy currency. One we use in community just like the kind used in markets and towns all over the world.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Open letter to Rep. Lamborn

Rep. Lamborn;
In child rearing it is always a good idea to try and encourage a child for doing something well before you criticize them. To that end I carefully went over your voting record to see if there was anything I could agree with. Your votes to support veterans have been for the most part commendable and I assume you will approve of any bill that President Obama promulgates to support jobs for veterans. Unemployement among veterans is twice the national average. Your position of imminent domain and water are not entirely clear, but I assume you are against the XL pipeline and the plans for imminent domain. Also water is very prescious and fracking takes water in horrible unheard of quantities and destroys it forever. We must get off our addiction to oil or the consequences will be biblical.
There is little else you vote down or up that I can agree with. The "tar baby" comment aside, (that could have just been a slip of the tongue due to the culture you were raised in; see wikipedia for the history.) your votes are so far right and if followed through to logical conclusions have been and are destroying the very fabric of this country.
You consistently vote against women, immigrants, environment. You are pro war all the way. War is against Gods commandments and I see no one who claims to be Christian in office calling for peace. This goes beyond outragious. You vote for the rich over and over. Free market has failed. And to concede a point, even if it isn't an overall failure there are some pretty big criminal banks and corporations who are destroying capitalism. Only criminals don't want any regulations or laws.
The long erroneous list of votes and views on your part are so long I cannot go into each and every one. It would take a book. Needless to say you have done nothing to make peoples lives better. Fremont county has not grown in 10 years according to census. I have watched business after business come and go, established business die one after the other. Meth is a huge problem with a small district attorney office to deal with it and sex crimes. Poverty is running rampant in the county. Toxic extraction industries are running roughshod trying to take profit and poison the beauty around us. Rural america is the first hurt by draconian free market and the last to recover. This town struggles to maintain simple services. The people here believe as you do. They hate our library, our kids, their teachers, our firefighters. They hate art, parks, and don't support any business or they wouldn't have put in such high commercial  property taxes. The counties problems go all the way back to the days of the KKK and we cannot grow with an attitude of exclusion. Most of the people here are over the age of 45. If you take away social security and medicade/medicare they will have nothing. We have a large per capita of disabled and mentally ill that would be left in the streets. If you do means testing of social security for those who are wealthy, who collect and don't pay in. If you change the amount people pay in, raise the ceiling SS could do the job it has done forever. Provide a stimulous to boost the economy with good jobs. Give us the health care you enjoy as a representative with costs controls and bidding with the power of the government. One other thing, women will have those babies you so want to see them have if they feel economic parity, if they feel they will be able to keep their family together and their children will be educated in a public system, and will not go hungry. Safety and security start at home not in a far away country with a war for corporate greed. Free trade is killing jobs in America. You say you make around 67,000.00 a year according to your site. I don't believe you. Sorry. I think you make a great deal of money and that is why you went into office. Your religious beliefs are clouding your judgement, Christianity was never meant to be used as a bludgeon to oppress people. It was meant to lift inspire and free us from tyranny of all kinds. I don't agree with the Pres. in all things, but the disrespect by the white far right has made me feel ashamed of my race and my country. I don't see how you were ever qualified to lay judgment upon women, the poor, this planet of ours, or any of the positions you have taken that lord it over all of us. Your so called pledges are transparently hypocritical. 
I am not anonymous. I am somebody. I think leadership should always listen more and talk less. You are required to keep an open mind, a balanced view and think things through. If you were a thinking person "tar baby" would have never come out of your mouth. I see our President as Briar Rabbit. And the republican party and the tea movement as the Fox. The more you try to stick it to this President the worse off it will be for you and your kind. You will be faced with the horrors of you poor judgment and hatred for "other". The poverty, pollution, crime you fear so much will come to pass. Is coming to pass. People are fed up with the ideology of "blame yourself". Americans are hard working forgiving people. We have given the Christian right and Free market every chance to prove it could produce a heaven on Earth. Pride goeth before a fall is on steriods right now. Christians have become unforgiving, unrelenting, militant and prideful. I say it is a fake faith based upon fear. True Christians everywhere are taking their religion back from the "money lenders" the greedy lying mega church leaders. They are taking their faith back in the streets of Occupy. True Christians come from love not hate.
I have been a voter since I was 18. The first generation to be able to do so at that age. I was very excited about being a fully engaged citizen. I am now 53 and am so discouraged by the take over of our country by the privileged who have cheated and stolen for decades. This country has become increasingly imperialist and our once proud nation is feared by the rest of the world. There will be a reckoning for the harm we do and the harm our leaders have done. Empire eats its own. You are only a lowly rep. I understand the force of peer pressure especially with the money that is thrown around. If you look around you, you will see you can get the support you need to stop the greedy, wars undending, give our kids a chance at a peacefull and just world. If Jesus hadn't been a rebel, there would have been no Jesus. Be a rebel for love and peace.

Monday, November 7, 2011

I wrote this letter to Keith Olberman asking him to read Ogden Nash. Keith read James Thurber to his audience on Fridays on MSNBC and Current tv. His father had suggested he do so because Keith read Thurber to him while he was dying. Odgen Nash could take a simple word and change its meaning with a small emphasis on a syllable, inflection or use it where you wouldn't normally see it. He coined the phrase; Candy is Dandy, but liquor is quicker. Keith is a word wizard just like Ogden Nash. Keith has a simliar humour and I hope he reads Ogden Nash who was a contemporary of Thurber.
Dear Keith Olberman

This is an open letter to you. I was going to do a video reading Ogden Nash. I realized after a video rehearsal, that my oral interpretation skills have so deteriorated since I took class with Dr. Ruth Arrington (Northeastern State University, Tahleqauh) that i better not. Dr. Arrington was a marvelous oral interp teacher. She was the first Cherokee woman to recieve a doctorate. She did not ring that bell and so I will for her now. James Thurber wasn't cutting it for me so I was going to read from "I am a Stranger here myself" two verses published in 1935. Both of these popped out at me as I opened the book. I hope you with your dulcet tones, perfect diction and inflection will do us the honor of reading Ogden Nash on your show. They are as follows:

This is a  song to celebrate banks.
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all you hear are clinks and clanks,
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdralls,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend money to anybody unless they don't need it.
I know you, you cautious conservative banks!
If people are worred about their rent it is your duty to
 deny them the loan of one nickel, yes, even one copper engraving of the martyred son of the late
 Nancy Hanks;
Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must look at them like Tarzan looking
at an uppity ape in the jungle.
And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow,
they had better go get the omeny from their wife's aunt or ungle.
But suppose people come in and they have a million and they want another million to pile on top of it,
Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness and you urge them to accept every drop of it.
And you lend them the million so then they have two million
 and this gives them the idea that they would be better off with four,
So they already have two million as security so you have no hesitation in lending them two more,
And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want
 the money sent or do they want to take it withm,
But please do not think I am not fond of banks,
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,
Because they perform a valuable public service in eliminating the jackasses
 who go around saying that health and happiness are everything and money isn't essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant money to maintain their health and happiness
 they starve to death so they can't go around any more sneering at good old money, which is nothing short of
The next, which I thought timeless given the Madoff mea culpa routine being throw out on the msm.
There is an emotion to which we are most of us adduced,
But it is one which I refuse to boost.
It is harrowing, browbeating, and brutal,
Besides which it is futile.
Because of it sleepy men go sleepless,
Because of it, for all I know lyrical canaries and nightingales go peepless;
Hungry men lose their appetites;
Warm acrobats perspire coldly in their dapper tights;
Eligible bachelors enter ballrooms less eligibly,
And stoics talk to themselves loudly but fortunately also unintelligibly.
Land of Goshen,
What an easily dispensable emotion!
I am referring of course,
To remorse.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind,
But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined,
Because everything is not gold that glisters and everything is not a tear that glistens,
And one man's remorse is another man's reminiscence,
So the truth is that as far as improving the world is concerned, remorse is a duffer,
Because the wrong people suffer,
Because the very fact that they suffer from remorse proves they are innocuous,
Yes indeed, it is the man remorse passes over completely who is the virulent streptococcuous.
Do you think that when Nero threw a martyr to the lions remorse enveloped him like an affinity?
Why, the only remorse in the whole Colosseum was felt by the martyr
 who was reproaching himself for having dozed through the sermon
 on the second Sunday after Trinity.
So I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it,
And I think the Communist Party ought to work out
 some plan for taking it away from those who have it
 and giving it to those who need it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Our White Women are Better than your White Women

This is in response to Ann Coulter claiming that the left hates all the conservative blacks because "our blacks are better than their blacks"

Our white women are better than your white women. If Ann coulter wants to play that game of my team, your team. Who owns who? I say
just off the top of my head that Amy Goodman, Wasserman-Schult, Gabrielle Giffords, Nancy Pelosi, Katrina VandenHeuvel, Phyllis Bennis, whom I just saw on Democracy Now. How about any white woman who does an interview on Current's Countdown? How about every white woman at every Occupy across the world. HOw about the head of Planned Parenthood? I can't think of anymore off the top of my head They belong to US! Progressive types.
. But you conservatives own, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, all those Tea Party Reps. in Congress. How about all the white wives of Republican candidates? How about all those white women who hate women of all colors who are pro-choice (which by the way IS Pro Family!) Help me out here, all you white women and all you wannabe white women and all you sisters of transgender and all our cream, brown, black, yellow and red white and blue sisters.BE proud to be a progressive white woman!!! Cause Ann Coulter has claimed all the conservative Blacks for her side and I say let her claim all the white woman who follow her.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Occupy Colorado Springs

I went to Colorado Springs today. Bought them some stuff they needed and met Hussien, Josiah and Carl. It has the organization of a
teenagers room, my ocd mom side wanted to do major organization but they know where everything is. Josiah and Carl are interesting.
Josiah is perhaps 18? Carl is 92. Josiah said he wasn't sure what it was all about completely. when I asked him what it meant to him he replied; and I paraphrase. That he thinks we are moving from the cold logical mechanistic money to empathic, community, and peace. He said this is just a small city but his intution is telling him he needs to be involved. Carl on the other hand with a sort of knowing and tired look said basically he knows what it is about and who "they" and told Josiah that he doesn't have to understand much more than his intution at this point. Your gut will never fail you. I liked talking to them. Seeing 70 years apart on the same page. There is an energy that is very high there. It looked a little like any day in Acacia. Carl said some days are busier than others. There were alot of kids hanging out in costume. They have lots of information laid out on a table. You could read for an hour. There seemed to be more people today who wanted to argue their own views rather than dialogue, but that too is par for the course at times. I plan to go back next Monday for the Into The Fire presentation by those who were at the G20 summitt protests. It is at 7-10 at 2415 W. Colorado Ave. Frankie is fine. Shaken but fine. The officer ran over his foot. He didn't mean to touch the bike but he just reacted instinctively. The officers were baiting the crowd. I talked with a nice young man named Hussein, who had talked to the commander of the colorado springs police who admitted they realy didn't want to waste the resources on peaceful protesters. I suggested the police pulled an OccupyBlue (like blue flue) and defused some fear from up the command chain. They check on the Occupiers at night just like they usually would check the park anyway, to make sure they are not being harrassed by anyone with a different agenda. if you know what I mean.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

From Dr. King to Pres. Obama and the Rise of a True Third Party

I was 10 when Martin Luther King was shot. I did not understand or know what racism was. My mother and father were not racist and only accidently racist at times. My mother used terms like "nigga toes" to describe Brazil nuts or using phrases like 'pic a ninny" or “nappy headed”. These were not meant as racist. They were terms of endearment she thought; language based in familiarity.   My mother grew up in Baltimore at a time when her experience of the city was very diverse. She always bragged of her birth cities ability to solve problems ahead of the rest of the country. They began integrating the schools starting with first grade back in the 40’s and gradually moved toward integration. It was her view as a child that the city of Baltimore saw the tension coming and did something about it. The city leaders headed off racial troubles that exploded in the rest of the country. I have learned otherwise since, of course. Racism was not in her radar, given a life of struggle and incest by a brutal step-father, racism was not the scary thing in her life. She found peace where she could.  My father was born in Hominy, Oklahoma. My maternal grandmother said he was the only example of a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. His people were very prejudice and they didn’t hide it. Racism has entered my life in anecdotal tales in books, movies and family stories. My paternal great grandfather was an Indian agent and laughed as he told tales of cheating the Osage.  I experienced ostracism, bullying and physical torture for just being different, but not racism. Growing up, television news always had something about civil rights, women’s rights, ecology, and worker’s rights and for my generation equal rights for gays. In my neck of the woods, mostly a negative view point. I grew up thinking that teens were drunken druggies only thinking of sex who needed to be dragged to church at the first sign of trouble. No, not by my Mother but by the media, any opposing view I learned came from Theology in Catholic school and the most diverse public school in our city, Tulsa Central High School. I did not truly understand the concept of racism until I went to an all-white public school in sixth grade. The other kids kept talking about the "coloreds" that went to my Old Catholic school. I really was surprised that they actually thought there was a difference just because of color. Color(?) like red or blonde or blue eyed or darker tanned skin? I was nick named "whitey" for my very fair Irish skin tone and I suppose looking back at it for having gone to school with those "other" kids. I was such a naive thing I didn't see it as teasing or racism. Perhaps, I rationalized in child-like fashion; they admired me for being able to go to a school that was diverse and know the truth, not what they were being told at home.

I learned as a little girl that good men die. First; Pres. Kennedy, then my Dad, Dr. King, Bobby Kennedy and as a gruesome Greek chorus the deaths of young men in Vietnam. I of course believed it to be this large place, important. My introduction to the larger world was war. I did not know what it was about, but the horror of the scenes in black and white played red in my mind.  When President Kennedy was assassinated, the Nuns at our school decided not to tell the children as was done by other schools that day. They felt this was something to be told, shared and mourned by family. I felt a sinking feeling when I was told. This hurt my parents. That is all I knew.  My father died in a car wreck in 1967. Cars were not required to have seat belts but GM offered a safety kit. My father, ironically the budding engineer opted not to spend $50.00 for the kit. It would have saved his life.  

There were other deaths, little girls, the youngest my age, bombed in a black Baptist church.  The constant state of war between Israel and Palestine a constant reminder that the Holocaust didn't culminate in a state of Israel that is best at creating peace.   Ten students at Kent state shot down by National Guard, drove the knife to the hilt, so much chaos and pain. I remember the day the Vietnam War ended.  My friends who were seniors in high school took out their draft cards and burned them. What a horrible realization that all my young male friends would have died in that war if it hadn’t ended. One Uncle served three tours in Vietnam, need I say more? Another Uncle was in the Air force and had to leave because of a brain tumor, he survived to help veterans.

Every leader, every man I have known who has stepped forward for the people have had an aura of the shadow of death over them, all of them. I wait for men to die or be murdered for speaking out, or being poor and being the ones who go to war. I know this sounds muddled but it has sorted itself out with time and the facts. Women die in wars and fighting for peace, along with their children. We have been at some kind of war all my life. There has never been peace for this country not entirely since World War II. We have been in some state of war, cold or not doesn’t matter what you call it, militarism is killing us.

Poverty is what actually killed my Dad. He wasn't anyone important, just an ordinary nice looking well- spoken fellow. Going to school full time and working two jobs to support a wife and three children, he didn't feel he could afford anything but the basic car after the engine fell  out of his very old Chevy. The new car payment was a strain and he was killed going to his second job three days after Christmas for the lack of fifty bucks. He was only 30. Men put their bodies on the line. It is what they do. It is in their DNA to "do" something. Make it right. We all know this; we have all watched men drive themselves to early graves for their families.

Martin Luther King and President Obama put their bodies on the line. I think this has to be recognized. Pres. Obama is catching it from all sides at this time. This cannot be understated.  As a white liberal woman, Pres. Obama's election as a black man made me say; "Who knew a black man would be the great white hope?" The fact that he is Pres. is not lost on me. Out of the confusion and grieving of childhood there has been a healing. Perhaps that is all he was meant to do in the grand scheme of things. Many of my friends and I thought “I hope he doesn’t get shot”.   A singular accomplishment of one man and the plural achievement of our country may be more important as symbol than substance. He is a good, fallible ordinary man who is just as susceptible to the vagaries of attack, hero worship and the struggle just to get along and make things work. I have no illusions about race in this country, or any ism. Dr. George Henderson of the University of Oklahoma says it is all based in classism. Dr. King was trying to bring attention to poverty before he was killed. This resonates with everyone and more so than ever. People are guilty of being poor. We are told by the leading contender for Pres. at the moment in the Republican Party that if you aren't rich and have a job, it’s your fault. We are also told ad naseum a list of failures for doing what is right or not making it. You have babies because your choice is to do so, you are a "welfare queen" if you ask for help. If you decide to not have children by whatever choice and painstaking decision, go to school have a career, you are a baby killer (even for taking the pill in some circles) For your decision you will be in such deep student debt, which you did in hopes of paying it off with a hard earned good job so you can afford to have children. If you played the free market game and lost it all, again your fault for not being rich enough to survive the thieves in the market, for not making the right investments. I am knocking on the door of retirement, cut off from my field by politics and with credit card debts I can’t pay. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say I am not alone.  My generation has had its savings taken at least twice, careers destroyed and cut off. We have re-invented ourselves over and over, started over again and again. As an educated woman my chances of making a decent wage is worse than a guy with no education who has to go to jail every weekend for dui's and a felony record. A man always gets a job before me.  You see how it goes. The divisions, I picked for example me against a man. For you it may be color, gender, comparative wealth, man against nature, illegal vs. native, mine above or below yours. Now I sit in a muddled old age (53 feels very old sometimes) wondering what I did wrong after being told all my life I am a loser, not working hard enough.  First the message as a teen that I would fall prey to pot and unbridled sex, alcohol, pills and end up a "hippie"; God forbid! As an adult liberal, prochoice, woman who has been on welfare, out of work, or in marriages where I didn't get paid for my labors as a wife and mother vilified by a nasty side of our culture as an elitist for having an education. I chose an education in Theatre and then in Human Relations, hoping I could bring dance, drama and music to those who are troubled. Talking sometimes leaves something to be desired. I didn’t choose a field that would make me money. While I pursued theatre, my Mom kept asking me when I would do something to make money.  I feel just as muddled and confused when I was as a little girl. Confused and misinformed by those who are supposed to prepare us. The only ones whose job it is to do so, the news media.  Those newspapers my aunt recovered started a healing process in that city that is still ongoing. These types of ordinary acts of integrity, a job well done from ordinary people are what make us great as a country. We are told there is no more of this sort of thing. The media talks as if there is a better class of people who are rich and the “ordinary” unaccomplished unwealthy unpowerful,  they  feign admiration for being able to survive the degradation’s  meted upon them by the powers that be.  

I find it every day. I remember in a sort of blossoming of the past many occasions of doing the right thing. Ordinary men and women doing a small part to correct the injustices they see in their lives. The mix raced couple that was my brother’s god parents. Married by a priest at a very small wedding, no license; the priest was an anarchist to many in this country. I was astonished at such a stupid law and fearful for them getting in trouble for breaking it. My granddaughters now bear the pride and burden of being of mixed race in a country that still finds it necessary to discriminate. I know many gay couples. For them to have the same excuses thrown in their faces as were mixed race couples is again astonishing. Do we never learn?

I turned on the TV, on the morning, after Occupy the Planet, on a main stream (msm) channel. I half hoped to see some intelligent reporting, NBC perhaps. I saw a baby chimpanzee spinning like a top, four "reporters" giggling about it sitting on a sofa  oblivious-to-the world like easily entertained children. I thought; "that about sums it up". So, I re watch Keith Olberman’s Countdown, where he calls for insurrection in the streets, not the only one to do so in recent years but the one I watched. This ordinary guy, who would probably rather be watching baseball and enjoying his card collection is enraged at the injustice and not afraid to say it. I imagine so many of the folks I admire in journalism sitting like I am in front of a computer trying to make sense enough of the mess out there to help even one person find something in the information that

will make a difference. Clarion call takes on new meaning in a world of spinning chimpanzees.

So many put their bodies on the line, every lone person who says “No” to being cheated in the bank line, or at the cable company,  quietly and firmly refusing to be taken advantage for their creed, religion, sex,  gender or income. How many of us are having to go over every statement and receipt for mistakes?  Making sure we haven't been nickelled and dimed again. How do we check the 

receipt of a society and the constant cheating of livelihoods, of homes, of jobs, education and environmental resources? How do we become that other part of government checks and balances? All the usual methods don’t seem to have any effect.  The Executive checks and balances the legislative and judicial, the Legislative checks and balances the executive and judicial, the Judicial checks the executive and legislative; a trinity of ethics keeping the three legged stool of government up right.  The fourth estate, Journalism; watching the entire triumvirate, reporting to the people so we can take action. We are the real homeland security, we the people are the fifth column. We are the bosses of the whole thing. We forget this. Look at what Rupert Murdoch said when he was asked about his knowledge of the phone hacking. He said his company was too big for him to follow everything. He got lazy or lied, one or the other, or both. Corporate CEO's claiming ignorance of fraud and robbery of the companies they were head of. We the people are the CEO's. The ones who aren't worn out running around trying to survive day to day couldn't pay attention, those who could and had the luxury of paying attention got lazy. Pure and simple.  I feel an obligation to be a witness to our history, learn the past and keep the informers of that history honest.

The horizontal leaderless approach of the Occupy movement is hard for people used to one leader are finding it hard to grasp. This model has been nurtured by the movements worldwide. The Chinese, contrary to popular myth are protesting. They go out in small groups, grab attention, get arrested and then another group steps forward. No one knows who the Leader is.  There are no leaders, the group leads itself. There is a process in place that the group follows, but not a single leader. This is very wise given a worldwide history of leaders of social movements being singled out and killed. Often it will be at a time when the leader has taken on a mythos of almost divinity. I believe the Democratic Party and large parts of this country have never recovered or healed from the deaths of three of its very visible leaders in the 60's. The continued killing and imprisonment of democratic leaders keeps that fear fresh.

If there is any "party" involved with the Occupy it is independents. The independent spirit of occupy, the horizontal, "no stars" style is very much needed in a polarized and frightened population. The election of Pres. Obama and the memorialization of Dr. King is actually the end of an era of the LEADER. Almost as if the pure symbolic act of a mixed race person, who considers himself a black man, finally being in the halls of power is the culmination of a fight for the top of the mountain. Now, the rest of us must follow that trail blazed to the top as well. Not in money, but in character and rEvolution.

We are moving into the age of community, group, and horizontal consensus. This frightens many. They see chaos can only come from so many voices. I watched a general assembly in New York on Global rEvolution live streaming. I am not thoroughly familiar with the process but I have used very similar approaches in groups in therapy sessions. There is a moderator who keeps people on task, focused on the decisions at hand. There is a "stack " similar to an agenda, but in the stack it is shuffled to make sure that it does not become "white male" dominated. The stack makes sure that no more than two of the same sex, color and I would include age speak. The speaking turn is shuffled. This keeps people also on topic. They get a minute and a half to speak their piece. There are hand signals of fingers up waving to approve, fingers down wiggling to say nay, straight out to show the need for more discussion Patience is very important. More than likely your thought will be expressed at some point by someone else. I don't have all the process down yet. Zucotti Park attendees responded as if they were in my head. No one was shouting, no tallied votes. Questions were asked and answered respectfully. It was out in the open. This makes me wonder why the Police have felt the need to pretend they don’t know what OccupyWS  will  do at any moment. There are no committees’ behind closed doors. No pandering or favor to get in "working groups". If that is your interest you just join the medical group, the media group or food group and the issues tied to those. For too long now we have watched the Republican party pull us to the right and then off a cliff. The Democrats have hidden, talked to softly and have "respected the views" of the right leaning increasingly ideological fellow citizens out of fear of being murdered to put it bluntly. They will fight but not to the death.

Don’t' make waves has been the mantra I have heard all my life from the left. Make your view known but don't rabble rouse, don't take a position, don’t back an issue. Have a personal view but we will not put our collective spine together and risk our bodies, but we will applaud loudly and take the credit if you accomplish something on your lonesome.  This runs from the halls of Congress to the tiniest caucus. The Left has pushed leaders to the front and then said; "let us know how it goes" and run back into their shells. While the right pick conundrum after useless conundrum to bully us with. Taking the money and singing Glory Halleluiah all the way to the bank. It is about time we have a true independent movement in the country. Independent voters are not uneducated or low information. Not unlike atheists who often know the bible and theology better, independents know the politics of the country and often know the history better. They are independent sometimes around a single issue but lacking, or rather being prevented from forming a cohesive leadership under one banner they splinter much to the delight of the two party systems. What we have needed in politics has been an umpire system. We thought the checks and balances were that. Our politics has lacked an umpire third party that can come in and call the game for "rain". Traditionally the independent parties would splinter, live abolish and then eventually is adopted by the two big players. We can’t wait for the two parties to co-opt or adopt the position of the middle. Occupy has been warned of being co-opted, and other activist progressive groups warned away. It’s an old tactic. The Banks and big corporations co-opted the finances of the world and this country. We are joining forces, all the issues have followed the money and we all met at the same cross roads.  We have had the storms of division just about tear this country apart. Just about tear the world apart, with America as leader taking over the mythos of empire.

Voices on the left are marginalized and silenced. The only strong Independent voice I have ever known in Sen. Bernie Sanders is faltering from being the proverbial baby that King Solomon threatened to cleave in two to settle the battle between two women.  How many know of his true filibuster for twenty four hours railing against the limb chewing killing machine of the system we are chained to.

Our republic is on life support. Our Democracy is like an old car. Its smoking, tires are bald, the carburetor is on its last leg. It is a great old car. It got us so far for so long. It would be a waste to give it an ignominious death and throw it in a junk yard. We need it. It’s our only vehicle at the moment. So we must fix it. Refurbish it, replace the engine with a clean energy engine, get it rolling down the road, paint it and she will roll a lot longer over hauled with all the history and love put into her.

In the short term Occupy has brought the conversation to the vampirism of finance and the bigger issue of environmental resource destruction. Our political arguments, the fight for money and position, the suffering in poverty, all the problems we are struggling with will mean nothing without facing a changing planet that we are pushing over the brink. We will be too busy surviving nature’s forces. As the financial sector and those 1300 big corporations are trying to buy their way out of dealing with climate change they are making climate change worse. They know it just as the cigarette industry knew their product killed people. The CEOs of these 1300 can’t play stupid while telling us they are the smartest people on the planet.  If we as a people can’t educate ourselves in time we better start figuring out how to survive. There is a saying by H.G Wells; “Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."  I hope love, intelligence and pragmatism win.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Knuckle Dragging Hairy Palmed Snot gurgle the troll....

I have decided to save my family the verbal lectures, editorials, snark, blog, essays they have gotten on a daily basis and spread the love around. This is as much for my own mental health as theirs. I have been fascinated by the voices on the internet who; in a high tech version of 'crying in the wilderness' fill the digital airwaves. I have also found that I am not alone in my views, putting aside the occasional; to put it kindly misinformed who only seem to yell digitally. I must admit I resemble that remark. I certainly don't always find the correct information but the search for the truth is not the exclusive purview of journalists or the police. If anything the internet and the explosion of television cable and internet radio belays that false assumption of specialists are the only ones to reveal the facts. Many times in internet comments someone who was actually there will come on the forum and set the record straight. Just as equally anyone tries to falsify the record, uses cooked information or followed the wrong web thread will be straightened out. It is the group educating itself. It reminds me of a time before documentaries, movies, television, radio for those who couldn't read or not well; the lecture hall was the place to go. There was always someone doing a lecture on something, somewhere. People with an interest or supporting a view, wanting information could go to a lecture or lectures at a hall, theatre or church. The internet serves this purpose to a tee. I can go to the opposing views website without worry of being run out of the hall, because of anonymity. An internet moniker is the same as a Nome de plume. The freedom of the internet to yell it from the window, in the safety of your house is immeasurable. We are seeing there is a time to get physical; the internet/lecture hall has spilled into the streets. The military know there is a time to put "boots on the ground" and the people have learned the power of presence in protest which is reaching a loud roar in Occupy. The world’s first global protest can’t be ignored. I don't think many people understand the scope of such an event. Not really. Is it the first? There is always New Year's Eve, reported from London to Beijing. Does that count as a global event? A big party? We watched all over the world to the attack on the world symbolized in the twin towers. But to be able to watch a lunar eclipse in Norway, or see New York at midnight mnt. time; or watch Kissy Girl and Steve walk around Zucotti Park and talk to Ted about a global conversation, open source and the meaning of 11-11-11. None of which I would have heard about otherwise?

I have a hard time remembering names, without it is impossible. But there is a tonality to comments, a beat, almost a poetry at times that becomes familiar. Reading other peoples comments almost feels like voices in my own head. It verges on psych kinesis. Before I can comment on the scroll someone else writes it, only better and we "like" it. My comments are liked around three to one. Now I have never had that kind of approval of my ideas, jokes or thought process ever in my life. I was shy of the process, some little kid part was afraid of being yelled at, ignored but now I am just as brave at saying something bold in response to bullies and nasty's. This actually becomes great practice for face to face encounters. like rehearsing a play. I was never one to have the snappy come back in response to stupid remarks or meanness. Now I can sit and carefully read the remark that inspires me or sets me off and respond more thoughtfully. It is addictive, I want to know what Buckeye Bill is into today, and I still wonder what happened to the young Japanese American I chatted with on The Fridge over ten years ago. I get Arabic updates from the April 6th movement, and I love the fact that any thought in my head that is followed by a "what if? can be found on the internet. It is a playground; it is a cosmic tech consciousness. At first there was this idea it would make us more isolated and separate, but it is moving us into a more connected planet. The observer sub society is turning into the listening and chatting society. A pin can barely drop in sub-Saharan Africa that the world doesn't know about it. It less than 30 years of the computer we are creating a new paradigm of community. Is this the coming of the Age of Aquarius? The one leader above all is evolving into the age of community.
My mother had a phrase when referring to the willfully ignorant and nasty; they are knuckle dragging hairy palmed snot gurgle trolls. I was amused to see people who try to "stir the pot" cause trouble on website chats and comments as trolls. The trolls make us all pay tolls, in self respect, in anger and eventually in helplessness. I am not anonymous. I am somebody. I am a old white woman with graying hair and I am proud. I am not afraid to stand up to the trolls who would drive us into a world full of bullies and con artists. I will not be overlooked nor will I be relegated to a life on the streets by  corporate greed. There is nothing worse than a pissed off woman of any background. I am pissed off for my homeless, the mentaly ill, the veteran who believed and is the most betrayed of us all. I am pissed off for people of all races and colors. I am pissed off for the hard working men and women all over the world who only wanted a little house to pass on, and environment not filled with toxins and dieing species. If all I can do is Occupy my Mind and help others to wake up. So be it. I have fought so long the "trolls", the neuvo riche, the snobs, the white trash mantra as long as it looks good. I am tired.
I  realize I have more ideas than I can handle. I am constantly thinking of things to write about, perhaps a book on this or that. Even with the plethora of books out there, there is still so much to say. I know I have been changed by articles and books. Felt affirmed and driven to action. Perhaps, if nothing else my voice can be added to the cry for justice, beauty, humor and love.